Question 78
What brings you the most peace and why?
Unfortunatly, that answer includes several things. Well, unfortunatly
for one of them... First, the good things... my faith, my friends, my
sister, my cats, dark chocolate, writing, singing, and doing methodical
things such as trying to burn a paper without burning my fingers or
setting it down or crocheting. Then the bad thing(s).... hurting
myself, drawing on my skin in red marker, and other bad behaviors. Now
for the harder part: the why...
My faith sustains me. It gives me comfort knowing there is something
bigger than me controlling this world and I have always felt close to
the Virgin Mary for some reason. I've always known there is a God and
always believed Christ died to save me and always felt connected to
Mother Mary.
My friends distract me. They put me at ease and take my mind off my
problems. What could be better than laughing a span of time away with
friends? Nothing I can think of.
My Samantha, my sister, reminds me of the innocence of childhood. When
life had no real downside. She keeps my mind on the positive instead of
the negative.
My cats just sit there and let me pet them. It's a methodical thing.
Just getting into a rhythm and stroking their fur. It's theraputic.
Dark chocolate. a) It tastes good. b) It releases chemicals in the
brain to make you happy and c) I'm female and I'm PMS, what do you want?
Writing gets my thoughts and feelings out on paper. I can put them away
for a little bit and then come back and analyze them when I'm more
objective and my emotions aren't clouding my judgements quite so much.
Singing makes me concentrate on my technique rather than my life. It
can express some things far better than what I can formulate. There's
always a song that fits the mood and if there isn't, make one up. It
instantly makes me have better posture and better breathing technique.
It makes me feel so much better by putting my energy into my singing
and not worrying.
The methodical things calm me. It's a pattern with crocheting. It's a
caution with burning. It makes me concentrate on that instead of my
life.
The pain of SIing calms me. It's nothing you can really understand
unless you've been there and done that. The relief I get from seeing
those scratches is indescribable. The calm I get from digging my nails
into my back is remarkable. But then the regret comes almost before I
can feel that relief or that calm. The relief is not worth the regret.
It's the same for the marker. Seeing that red against the paleness of
my skin filled me with such a feeling of calm. I haven't done that in
about a year so I couldn't tell you if it's worth the regret that
always comes or not.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
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