Catching up....

Journal Jar Ketchup... I mean Catch-Up

Journal Jar #6

Did you have a roommate?  What was that person like? What did you learn about living with other people besides your own family?

I haven't moved out yet but I have kinda moved into my friends houses before. Liz first, then Lindz. I learned that too much exposure to a friend can turn the relationship. But I loved it. Lindz hated it when I basically lived with Liz because we got so close and kinda excluded her. You see, with the three of us muskteers, we'd switch on and off between being best friends. It'd be Lindz and Liz then Liz and me then Lindz and me. It always switched but the three of us were always close no matter what.

Journal Jar #7

What is your favorite thing to do when you are alone in your home?

Speaking of being home alone, I am right now! Thanks goodness! Typically, I put on my favorite nightgown (which I don't let any see me in because it's actually lingerie) and watch Comedy Central Presents.... which is stand-up comedy. Amateurs but they're funny as h-e-double hockey sticks. I eat junk food and just live by myself for a couple hours. But tonight, I'm catching up on journals and hangin' out (in jeans and a hoodie b/c I don't sit at the computer in a negligee). It's quite fun and entertaining.

Journal Jar #8

What are your dreams, hopes and expectations for your children?

Well, at the young age of fifteen, I have not yet followed in the footsteps of my mother or grandmother (both of whom had children at the age of fifteen; mom's first and BG's second). Thus I have no children to answer this question about. I shall take BOTH of Promise's suggestions and I shall answer about both myself and a child in my life (for me, it's my baby sister).

My dreams, hopes, and expectations for myself first.....
OW! Frozen "silky dark chocolate" Dove bar! Ahhhh! As I was saying.... I dream of finding true love. I hope to find Prince Charming. And I fully expect to. I hope to go to college. On a full acedemic scholarship. Not a community college. Maybe not Ivy League but a good school. Like a state school or such. UCLA or Columbia or such. I hope to love with all my heart, to give myself 100% to someone, to be myself around him and not fear him abandoning me (since we all know children of divorce tend to have those fears and maybe I do subconsciously). I dream of being happy, of continuing my musical studies, but of being able to listen to karaoke without cringing at their bad technique. I want to take up piano again, to be able to play the bass part at the same time, to use my left hand just as well as my right. To play something amazing like they always do on TV, like Ephram on Everwood. To rekindle my friendships from my old town (and gosh is it hard to not just use the name of the town) and to be able to hang out with Jon without feeling betrayed or hurt or afraid. To figure out what the deal is with Tom, and Jake, and Murph, and Taylor, and all the other guys that come along. (Mental note: must update general public on the male situation in my life.) I have many hopes, dreams, and expectations for myself. I expect to get my room clean, to FLY. Onto my baby sister.....

I hope she doesn't have to deal with the cops like I did. I hope she grows up happy and playing in the dirt like a normal little girl. I hope she plays with her Barbies too. I hope she doesn't fall into the kind of life that leads to the kind of life I'm trying to avoid. The life filled with sex, drugs, and parties. I hope she manages to get good grades. I hope she's happy. I hope she turns to me when she needs to talk, or cry, or when she gets interested in boys or make-up. I hope I can be there for her the way I thought Jule was going to be for me (from afar, of course). I hope she lets me be there. Even when she gets older and rebellious and starts pushing people away. I dream of a good life for her. Without her parents fighting. I dream of a life for her that everyone wants. Some highs, some lows, but some good times sprinkled throughout. I expect her to grow up to break hearts. I expect that she pull the cats tail and be a "terrible two". But I also expect that she want to dance with me when The Wiggles CD goes in. I expect that she come to my wedding and that I get invited to hers. I expect her to be my bridesmaid (or flower girl, depending on how long it takes me to get hitched, lol). I expect that she wait, just as I am, to have children and that she not take after Mom. I love my mother but I don't want the life she had. I don't want my Pixie baby to have that life. *tears* That's heavier than I thought it would get. lol

I'd love to do more tonight but, I've got only a few minutes. I'll finish catching up tomorrow. Much love to all!

Vickey